work

work has been terribly busy and stressful lately.

too much to handle

working till late at eleven at night is tiring.

waking up at 3 in the morning, stressed out about work.

i begin to miss those carefree days at work where i felt work was too mundane,
boring and i was bored to death then.

but this is the price to give for the price i recieve isnt it?

i want the good money, of course i deserve it.

perhaps i should just take a breather this weekend. just totally unwind.

perhaps i should just go for a break to phuket to find my friend who is now working there.

yes. i should do just that.

but when?

unwind, unwind. i need to unwind.

tell you something..

there was this security guard at my office.

we don't chat that much but make small talks.

every evening he would switch on the car park lightings, the switch is located outside my window.

as i normally work late, he would wave hello at me and gesture for me to go home, not work too late.

anyway, he died last week.

commited suicide.

here at his office security post.

for reasons we will never know.

i was disturbed because here was a man who was seemingly jovial and chatty and everybody chatted with him, bought him dinner, sat down and drank with him sometimes.

there were no signs of a troubled mind.

but he just did it and we will never know why.

because he had a sunny deposition, the people here did not grieve too much.

of course we were all sadden and shocked but every one tried to lighten up a bit, afterall, it was done.

what i have learnt here is that i should always always take time and take heart to have the presence whenever i make even small talks. you know, ask how are they, how is their day, etc. always take heart to give love to others. any tiny effort is good enough for me.

Lisa. i gave her a name because everyone asked me who she was. Nobody. she is nobody. just a reflection of what i wanted to express. i wanted a soulful pair of eyes and some kind of a pout. a little sadness but not over-done.  

this depicts the back of a playing card. every day i play game at lunch break with two of my game buddies. we had this arrangement since beginning of the year. actually, we dont gamble much, just ten cents stake. it is more for the strategy that we enjoy.  

brick wall-- this was painted to in remembrance of my father. there was once he painted the whole kitchen wall RED. my mother was aghast as it gave her a headache. but i was just happy and helped my dad paint the whole town RED 

entitled - i this is how i feel-- i feel that i don't belong. dont belong here and dont belong with people. initially, there was only one "i" on the right. it reflects my feeling abuot not belonging to crowd or society. but i added another "i" in red among the people. it is my attempt to TRY.  

this subject's name is Annie Howard. let me tell you the story. i wanted to draw a beautiful woman but i couldn't achieve it. hence i gave up and started to paint any-o-how. to my surprise, the end product was well, not bad. (the actual painting looks better than this as this picture is taken by camera and it looks blend and flat here. there are more shades and texture on the actualy painting as acrylic paint was used). so, i named her Annie Howard. (aka Any-How-drawn) am i cheesy or what?